


Five Seasons

by straeon



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-06
Updated: 2015-04-06
Packaged: 2018-03-21 13:52:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3694739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/straeon/pseuds/straeon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How does Robert and Aaron's relationship fare through the different seasons and from the outside forces' effect on them?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Seasons

**Winter**

“So what, you just like wasting my time, do ya? Is that how you get your kicks?” Brushing off his apology for yesterday and excuses for today, Aaron tried to leave, to just get back to the garage and to his pint, pushing away thoughts he knew he shouldn’t be having for this man.

“What do you think?” The way he narrowed his eyes at Aaron, showing his tenseness, confused Aaron more than ever; as sure as he was about what Robert wanted, he still felt messed around. Would it be a good idea staying here with someone who couldn’t even make himself say it?

“I think I don’t like being messed around,” Aaron spat back at him, trying once again to leave, though something kept pulling him back to the other man. He was bad news, Aaron didn’t need to be reminded of all the things he’d heard about him, yet he couldn’t help but feel intrigued. Especially that he was worth his time, that he was even on the radar of the local lad done good, come back to lord over the manor, who was now in the middle of nowhere in a leather jacket convincing Aaron to stay around here with him for no particular reason. That he was so unsure of himself gave Aaron a strange satisfaction, but he might have been kidding himself that it was any nervousness due to Aaron and not all to do with his sexuality and cheating.

“Don’t,” Robert said, magnetically pulling Aaron back again. “I’m not messing you around,” he said more softly as they stood closer, eyes connecting, Robert’s searching Aaron’s face for a sign that he understood, that it was him that he liked.

“Really? An’ how’s that?”

“Because you know why we’re both still here,” Robert said, less certain than his words would suggest, less confident than his usual public persona was.

“Do I? You tell me.” The step closer and that jaw clench, another expression of how tense Robert was, confirmed for Aaron that he did know, that the attraction and magnetism was not only felt on his side.

That leaning in, his closing the gap between them, nearly closing it entirely, when Aaron would have let him do whatever he wanted in that moment, despite all he knew about him, and despite all that Aaron had thought he’d known about himself and his own morals.

“Forget it,” Robert said, switching from blowing hot to cold again and breaking the pull between them as he broke the silent communication of their staring eyes and mirroring bodies that encircled each other, yet tried to escape the attraction to the other but irresistibly invited each other back.

“Fine.” This wasn’t worth his time, Aaron told himself, whether he was being messed around or he was the object of a closet case’s affections. “See you around.” Was that for finality? Or to give Robert the choice between making his move and watching him walk away?

If it had been the latter, the choice made in the closeted blond’s mind was clear when he turned Aaron back to him forcefully, lunging for him, grabbing him with both hands to taste, feel and breathe him in with something between desperation and urgent lust - for Aaron or for his testosterone, he didn’t know but didn’t care as her gave into the embrace, controlled by the other man in a way that excited him. He drew him closer, back into another kiss with hands touching leather and lips that contradicted to the rough pull on Aaron he had, as did the soft hands on his face and neck, even as he pushed him back against the back of the truck.

Between it and Robert, he felt the strength of his desire flood over him, overwhelming him, with hardly a slit of space between them, a hand clamped on the back of his head as he fully returned the kiss now on Robert’s open mouth. With his warmth and hardness against him, Aaron led him to the door of the vehicle, still being pulled against him, lips seeking each other as now he had him pinned back. 

Eager hands broke the contact of their fiery bodies as Aaron pushed the jacket down from his well-shaped shoulders. 

“This was a mistake,” Robert said, covering his shoulders back up and escaping the scene quickly, even as Aaron’s words held him back with the indecision etched on his face clear to the other man who’d felt the whole strength and heat of his longing just a moment before.

But Aaron was left in the open cold, only still heated by the humiliation of the situation. 

It wasn’t the end of it, of course it wasn’t because they drew each other back, with attraction, with intrigue - even if under the guise of cheap thrills to warm up a winter’s day in bales of hay, they came to need to feel each other’s heat.

 

**Spring**

“Happy Easter,” Aaron said, walking through to the Home Farm living room where Robert was sitting with his legs stretched out before him.

“Yeah,” Robert replied tiredly.

“Do… you have any plans today?” With his hands in his pockets, he looked around the room, as if he cared for anything in this house other than the man in front of him and wasn’t just trying to not seem overly eager or clingy.

“Diane mentioned Easter tea or… something,” Robert said, shaking his head. “You think Vic will be mad at me?”

“She seemed okay the other day,” Aaron answered, clearing his throat.

“Yeah, she’s had other stuff on her mind,” Robert said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

“Her and Adam are… okay now, by the way” Aaron said. “Except for something about a broken phone.” Stifling the laugh the memories of his day with Adam brought back, he cleared his throat awkwardly, returning Robert’s resulting bemused smile.

“Her phone’s broken?” Robert asked, realising the reason for the lack of texts from her. “Then… I don’t really have anything to make up for with her,” Robert said. “And I’d rather not watch her and Adam… making up.”

“Yeah?” Aaron said, still trying to remain casual.

“I think we can make better plans,” Robert said with a flirtatious undertone.

“Ya haven’t asked if _I_ have plans,” Aaron said, faking an annoyed tone.

“What, Easter eggs with Chas?” Robert asked pointedly, knowing with Aaron’s current health kick, he had no interest in the chocolate. “Stopping by the Church service?”

“Hey, not everyone’s as doomed to eternal damnation as you are,” Aaron said, biting back at the hint in Robert’s tone that his going to Church would be so ridiculous.

“Okay,” Robert said, holding up his hands in front of him.

“Sorry,” Aaron said regretfully.

“It’s fine,” Robert replied with an awkward smile. “You’re probably right.”

Aaron gave a noncommittal shrug and didn’t respond.

“So…?”

“What?” Aaron asked.

“Do you have any plans tonight?” The smile on his face suggested the reason behind his asking.

“Not really,” Aaron shrugged. “Unless I do now.”

“Well,” Robert exhaled as he leant forward and tugged Aaron toward with a finger under his belt. “I dunno about you but I’d rather spend today, and tonight, with you.”

“I guess Church’ll have to wait then,” Aaron said with a shrug before he climbed over Robert’s lap, wrapping his arms around his neck as he pushed him back in the chair and kissed Robert hard while straddling him.

“Mmm,” was Robert’s reaction as Aaron rocked against him and lay stubbly kisses on his smooth neck, letting him do most of the work and enjoying it.

Just as Aaron’s hands reached around Robert’s belt buckle, a noise from his jeans pockets made him pull away, as Robert reached for his phone with an apologetic look.

“You’ve got to be kidding,” Aaron said in frustration at Robert’s slight tensing as he checked the text.

“Hey, it’s nothing,” Robert said.

Still, Aaron grabbed his hand to read the text and confirm his expectation that it was from his wife: _Happy Easter. Wish you were here xxx_

“I’ll just put it away if you want me to,” Robert said.

“No, answer her,” Aaron replied with a sigh. She didn’t deserve to be ignored as well as being secretly cheated on in her own house during a holiday.

“I’m away from her, from them, today to be with you,” Robert reminded Aaron as he placed the phone on a nearby table after replying to the text.

“Wow, thank you,” Aaron said sarcastically. “I’m forever in your debt-“

“I don’t mean it like that,” Robert said, leaning his head back on the back of the chair in exasperation. “Don’t go,” he said as Aaron started to move away.

“The mood’s kind of ruined, ain’t it?” Aaron said with a sigh.

“No, it’s not,” Robert said, kissing Aaron’s jaw playfully. “I’m always in the mood for this,” Robert said as he grasped Aaron’s thighs and pulled him closer. “Yeah?” He asked Aaron breathily against his mouth that was curling into a turned on smile despite his annoyance, despite the reminder of what he was doing with Robert, checking that Aaron was still up for it. Which he soon was, continuing from where he left off, kissing him roughly, pushing his thigh between Robert’s legs as he unbuttoned his shirt.

“Don’t,” Robert said hesitatingly as Aaron opened his mouth around Robert’s throat, sending a shock down to Robert’s erection but not eliminating his commitment to keeping this a secret affair.

“Seriously?” Aaron asked, pulling away to look Robert in the face.

“Well, how am I gonna explain that?” Robert replied, as if it was obvious. And it was – Aaron knew how it was. He just hadn’t considered that it ruled how they spent their time together as well and he didn’t welcome the influence of his separate life on their sexual relationship, along with the constant reminders in this place. As much as Aaron could settle into this ‘normal’ relationship with Robert, spending time with him in his home, unrushed and uninterrupted, something eventually led back to him realising he was fooling himself.

“Are you okay?” Robert asked, intruding on Aaron’s thoughts, reminding him why he _was _still here. To be with him.__

__“Yeah,” Aaron said quietly, swallowing as he watched Robert’s face, the way he looked back at him._ _

__As much as Aaron kept reminding himself that he was second best, when he was with Robert the evidence didn’t suggest that. Aaron was the first thing on his mind right now, he was the one who was here with him, who Robert cared about and was pulling against him gently into another kiss. Who he left his mark on anyway, on a less obvious spot that Robert’s shirt could cover, as they chose to believe Chrissie wouldn’t be back soon enough to see it, or Robert could explain another sign of his infidelity away again. But with their clothes strewn over the living room, without a care for its usual minute neatness, with searching, exploring mouths and pumping hands, neither of them was thinking about anyone else._ _

__“Maybe,” Robert started awkwardly while Aaron looked for his clothes. “We could go to Diane’s thing later.”_ _

__“What, together?” Aaron asked, pausing his search to give Robert a look of confusion at the obvious flaw in that plan._ _

__“Well, we’ll arrive at different times of course,” Robert said with his usual overconfidence about hiding this affair from everyone, with getting away from everything. “It’s not like they’ll be surprised you’re there… We’ll still be spending today together. If you want.”_ _

__Aaron smiled as Robert’s confidence in his words wilted. “Yeah,” he said finally, putting the other man out of his misery. “I’d like that,” he said dropping the clothes he’d picked up so far and returning into Robert’s arms._ _

__

__**Summer** _ _

__“I can’t lose everything,” Robert said desperately, the fear clear in his eyes as he looked pleadingly down into Aaron’s face._ _

__“But you can lose me?” Aaron asked sadly in reply._ _

__“No,” Robert said. “You know I can’t lose you.” He emphasized his point with a hand on Aaron’s face but he pulled away from him angrily._ _

__“You can’t get everything you want forever,” Aaron said, shaking his head and frowning deeply as he avoided Robert’s eyes._ _

__“I’m not,” Robert said. “Do you think this is how I want it to be? Looking over my shoulder constantly, seeing people break down over Katie, watching you nearly kill yourself-“_ _

__“Don’t,” Aaron said, stepping closer again to give him a threatening look. “Don’t make it seem like I put you through anything that even compares to what you’ve put me through.”_ _

__“I’m not,” Robert says, putting a hand through his hair stressfully. “I just – I don’t know what to do. But I need you. I need you with me through all this,” he said, voice filled with emotion, as he pulled Aaron back to him by a bare arm._ _

__“I don’t want to leave you,” Aaron said honestly. “But maybe you need to choose what’s more important to you.” There was a fire in his eyes that had only just started to make its way back after everything he’d been through, everything that had nearly broken him, and Robert knew from that that he was serious._ _

__“I can’t,” Robert admitted with a defeated air._ _

__“Then get back to me when you can,” Aaron said, making his way to leave and no longer accepting being strung along by Robert’s empty promises and warm words to keep him at his heel._ _

__“Wait,” Robert called, going after him and pulling him back. He placed his hands on Aaron’s t-shirted shoulders and looked into his eyes. His loss of confidence was still clear and Aaron could see the indecision was genuine, as real as the beads of sweat along his furrowed forehead._ _

__“What?” Aaron hurried him along, feeling sympathy for his situation, as much as it was his own fault, but not prepared to stick around to be a victim of his confusion or his inability to choose between wealth and real, passionate, raw and messy love._ _

__“It’s you,” Robert said finally, lowering his brows and swallowing, partly surprised by his own admission, taking a breath with its heaviness in the air between them._ _

__Not satisfied by just that, Aaron shook his head expectantly._ _

__“You’re what’s most important to me,” Robert said quietly, pulling Aaron against him._ _

__“How do I know you’re not just saying that? So I don’t do anything?” Aaron asked._ _

__“Because… I know you wouldn’t tell her,” Robert said. “This isn’t about keeping her, or them or - or that place. It’s about keeping you.” With a weak smile that showed his relief to have made a decision, to keep him, but also his nervousness, he took Aaron’s face in his hands and rested his forehead on his. “If you still want me?”_ _

__“I shouldn’t,” Aaron said truthfully. “But I do,” he answered, searching Robert’s glistening eyes and following through with a soft kiss._ _

__Robert wrapped his arms around him, bringing him closer into him, as they embraced, sweatily and messily, and Aaron held onto him, hoping that this was it. That he had him; that they had each other and would never lose that again._ _

__

__**Autumn** _ _

__“I’m sorry,” Robert said, following Aaron in the cold open air in the middle of the village. “How many times do I need to say that?”_ _

__“Y’know, yer right,” Aaron said, reluctantly stopping and facing him. “You do say that _a lot_. D’ya ever consider… I dunno, not getting into so many situations where you need to apologise after?”_ _

__“Aaron-”_ _

__“Cuz, the thing is,” Aaron continued “Your words start to sound really _empty_ after a while.”_ _

__“Don’t,” Robert pleaded. “I _am_ sorry.”_ _

__“Like you’d say anything to get out of your scraps. To get away with anything and everything,” Aaron said pointedly and the look in Robert’s eyes made it clear he understood Aaron’s meaning and its threatening undertone. So he let Aaron walk away with a bitter smirk._ _

__Kicking the stupid messy dead leaves over the ground, Aaron warmed his hands around the coffee cup he’d just gotten before he ran into Robert (or rather, Robert ran into him) as he made his way back to the garage._ _

__At the back of his mind, there was a niggling regret over his harshness toward Robert. The love was still there and was unlikely to ever be exterminated. But he’d hurt him. And Aaron was still hurt. Not even by one action or a couple of stupid mistakes. It was everything their relationship had been, everything he’d done since they got together to hide it as if it was something filthy and dirty, to be ashamed of, when the love he felt for Robert was the brightest point of those several dark months in Aaron’s life. It shined especially bright when Robert loved him back. But in the end, as everything Robert had done to hurt him built up to nearly tear him apart from the inside, that wasn’t enough and it didn’t matter if he’d meant to hurt him or how sorry he was about it afterwards._ _

__He’d needed to be away from him and he had been. The need to be near him and to lose himself in that loving warmth and their fiery sex was replaced by nearly needing to recover from it all, all that had happened around and despite that. Robert had given him space as he rebuilt what he’d destroyed in his own life and Aaron had a lot of respect for some of his behaviour since then. But that didn’t mean he’d changed or that he could. Aaron had wanted to believe he would, from the very start – Aaron had. He’d recovered time and again because people had faith in him. That made him believe that if he stuck by Robert, he could change too. The faith was still there but when he realised the affect that had on him, sticking by Robert no matter what, he made himself leave and stop hurting himself._ _

__“Are you gonna do some work today or are you planning ta just moon over your coffee all day?” Cain grumbled at Aaron from the other side of the garage._ _

__“Uh, yeah,” Aaron replied non committedly and took another sip of his coffee, leaving Cain to roll his eyes to no one in particular._ _

__They were stirred from their places, of Aaron brooding and Cain grumbling, by an awkward forced cough from the entrance._ _

__“Is it alright if we talk now?” Robert asked uncomfortably. Giving him a hard stare, Aaron mulled it over in his mind._ _

__“Want me to get rid of him?” Cain asked when Aaron didn’t answer for a few moments._ _

__“Nah,” Aaron answered eventually._ _

__“Uh, I’ll just,” Cain said as he wiped his hands then threw a dirty cloth down. “I’ll leave you to it then. Not getting any work done anyway.” He looked Robert up and down with a threatening air as he passed him but Robert paid him no heed, still watching Aaron and trying to figure out where he stood with him._ _

__Aaron watched him back, not angry enough to not notice how well fitting his coat was or how cute the chunky scarf wrapped tightly around him and reddened nose were._ _

__“You hurt me,” Aaron said after a long, heavy silence._ _

__“I know,” Robert said. “And I regret that more than anything.”_ _

__Aaron nodded thoughtfully. “How do I know you won’t do that again? If you never meant to, then…”_ _

__“I was selfish and greedy and … a complete idiot,” Robert admitted. “I – probably still am all those things but I’m trying to not be.”_ _

__“I dunno if I can forgive you,” Aaron confessed sadly._ _

__Sighing with his hands in his pockets, Robert leant back against the vehicle behind him. “Then don’t,” he said eventually. “Maybe I don’t deserve to be forgiven.”_ _

__“Then where does that leave us?” Aaron asked, puzzled._ _

__“Do you want there to be an ‘us’?” Robert asked with surprise, then bit his lip and searched Aaron’s face hopefully._ _

__“Yeah,” Aaron answered after a moment, hoarsely, still unsure about so much, but that he still wanted to try… That he was sure of._ _

__“I’ll earn your forgiveness,” Robert said. “And your trust. And I’ll try more. Maybe… maybe I will hurt you again. And make idiotic mistakes. Because I’m an idiot, clearly, for letting you go all the times I did. But I’ll try. I’ll try my best. To be there for you, to be enough for you.”_ _

__“Okay,” Aaron said, nodding, remaining stoic in a way that would have been much more effective if it wasn’t for the tear that ran down his rough face._ _

__“Yeah?” Robert stepped toward him, beaming with light._ _

__“Yeah,” Aaron said, nodding and composing himself. “You can buy me more coffee.”_ _

__“I guess that’s a start,” Robert said, still smiling widely._ _

__Aaron shrugged and led him out of the garage, letting him walk side by side with him through the village and failing to suppress a smile as Robert continued to shoot him pleased looks every chance he got._ _

__

__**Winter** _ _

__“Don’t you dare throw that snowba-, goddammit!”_ _

__Robert brushed the specks of snow off himself in annoyance as he walked awkwardly through the inches of snow in front of the Woolpack._ _

__“Mature,” he grumbled to a pink skinned Aaron who rubbed his hands and grinned at him._ _

__“Ha,” Aaron scoffed, cocking his head. “Cuz you’re an authority on what’s mature.”_ _

__“Can we go inside?” Robert asked in a bored tone._ _

__“Uh, you’re such an old… fuddy duddy,” Aaron grumbled._ _

__“I’m cold,” Robert argued, turning back with his hands in his pockets, trying to warm himself._ _

__“Well, maybe I can warm you up,” Aaron said flirtatiously, tugging him from the pub door by the front of his jacket._ _

__“So can a beer,” Robert replied. “And going _inside_.”_ _

__“Are you choosing a beer over me?” With a cheeky smile, Aaron walked backwards away from his boyfriend, daring him to join him or go into the pub alone._ _

__“Don’t call me old again,” Robert said in a serious tone that left Aaron unprepared for the ball of ice that hit him in the face a moment later._ _

__Robert laughed uncontrollably, letting himself go in a way he nearly only ever did around, so that the other man couldn’t even hold onto his irritation for more than a second from looking at his bright, pink face. Which didn’t stop him from pelting Robert with snowballs, picking up large handfuls of snow after another and dodging and rolling to avoid the bigger balls being thrown back at him._ _

__“Oi!” Victoria shouted from the doorway of the Woolpack, interrupting the snowball fight as Robert had just dived onto Aaron, pushing him back on the snowy ground and straddling him as he slammed a ball of ice cold snow onto his face. “Are you pillocks comin’ in or what? I didn’t cook all this just for Adam to stuff it all down his gob.”_ _

__Still laughing, especially at how Aaron’s clothes, black as usual, had ended up covered in white, they made their way into the pub, nudging and teasing each other._ _

__“You had a clear, unfair advantage,” Aaron argued as they went through to the back of the pub. “With your gigantic hands.”_ _

__“You don’t usually complain about that,” Robert replied, taking off his coat while kissing his warming face teasingly. “We should probably go upstairs and get changed before lunch, don’t ya think?”_ _

__Aaron scoffed at Robert’s very unsurprising need to make everything sexual, badly disguising how much he wanted to go along with that plan._ _

__“They’re waiting,” Aaron argued reluctantly._ _

__“ _What_ have you two been doing?” Diane asked in an exasperated tone as she passed them. “You better go up and change,” she said, giving them an annoyed wave away, as Robert smirked suggestively at Aaron after she’d turned her back._ _

__“And don’t,” Diane continued, turning back with a knowing look. “Take too long. Ya don’t want to feel Victoria’s wrath,” she said, grumbling something about Victoria as she walked away._ _

__“Upstairs,” Robert told Aaron, shoving him up the stairs playfully and starting to pull at his clothes before they’d even walked through the bedroom door._ _

__Slamming the door after them, Robert pushed Aaron against the wall, removing his wet clothes as he did and rubbing and stroking his cold skin._ _

__“Robert,” Aaron breathed. “We shouldn’t,” Aaron said, smiling despite himself, not at all committed to his protestations and stifling a laugh as Robert kissed and bit him down his stomach then lowered himself to his knees and shoved Aaron’s jeans and underwear down._ _

__

__“That was eventful,” Robert murmured, walking alongside Aaron with an arm around his back, outside the pub over a hard white ground that contradicted the dark night sky._ _

__“And none of it to do with us,” Aaron said with a relieved sigh. Even Chas’s drunkenness by the end of the day on mulled wine and Christmas punch didn’t bring out any spiteful comments about Robert and their relationship._ _

__“Are you sure you’re not disappointed by that?” Robert asked lightly. “You’re not bored of this now we’re not sneaking around?”_ _

__“No,” Aaron answered, stopping and turning to look at Robert. “The sneaking around got boring. Why, are you bored?”_ _

__“No,” Robert said, shuffling his feet and smiling into Aaron’s eyes. “This has always been enough.”_ _

__“This?”_ _

__“You,” Robert answered firmly, before pulling Aaron against him, with a hand on each side of his face over his colourful, baubled winter hat, pulling it lower over his head and kissing him softly. “You’re cold,” he murmured, nipping at the tip of his nose with his teeth._ _

__“I’ll live,” Aaron replied. “But if you’re worried about catching your death from pneumonia we can go ins-”_ _

__“Shut up,” Robert interrupted, pulling him into a tighter embrace, kissing him more deeply and feeling Aaron’s arms wrap around him tightly with their bodies pinned together and blocking out the night’s cold air._ _


End file.
